Editing Grand Prix
Today I ran across a run-on sentence. In my own writing, no less.
By seeing themselves in the roles their class-based education forsees for them: that of filially devoted national subject, guarantor of domestic and therefore civic harmony, and representative of cultural continuity, these girls learn strategies for their personal lives and public habits that will mark them as fully integrated members and representatives of their class, thus assuring the future social and cultural success of not only themselves as individuals but also, due to the power of the domestic and filial bonds in framing this notion of German femininity, of their families as well.
It also has some questionable punctuation. I shared this monstrosity with a friend. . . and the sports commentary commenced.
Tom: And now, Sam, she appears to be gearing up for a dependent clause. . . oh wait, there she goes. Oh. My. God. A dependent clause within a dependent clause! What language does this woman speak? German??
Sam: I agree with you there, Tom, it looked like she was wrapping it up, like she didn’t have anything left to give and then she wowed us all with a Not Only But Also construction. Truly majestic.
Tom: Those editors are going to have a field day with these run-on sentences. Her training over the next week will really need to focus on precision. Oooh! Check out that blocked clause.
Sam: Wow! That was a close miss on the dangling participle.
Tom: But wait, there she goes again–a behind the back pass and there she is again with a massive sentence replete with Not Only relative, But Also independent clauses.
Sam: She’s down! She’s down! Grabbing her wrist! Let’s hope it isn’t carpal tunnel!
Tom: Thank god, she’s up again–but it appears she only has the strength left in her to delete a few lines of extraneous prose. Let’s hope she doesn’t inadvertently cut a critical end note.
Sam: Foul! Failure to cite a source!
Tom: Looks like she’s pulled it off. Only Peer Review, that indefatigable critiquing machine, can stop her now.
(thanks to Donna for inspiration and spirited play-by-play)